Birth Certificate Blues

Those Birthers – you have to give them credit for tenacity and persistence. They always get their birth certificate. The Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie is considering a way to release the information and put a permanent damper on this relentless conspiracy theory.

The governor was a friend of Obama’s parents, according to Fox News, and knew Obama as a kid. He says he was there when Obama was born.  Abercrombie, the report says, will ask the state attorney general’s office about what can be done to put an end to questions about Obama’s birth certificate from Aug. 4, 1961. Hawaii’s privacy laws have long barred the release of a certified birth certificate to anyone who doesn’t have a tangible interest. If not, the state must have permission from Obama himself to release the certificate.

Hawaii’s health director has stated twice that she has seen and verified Obama’s original vital records. Birth notices were published in two Honolulu newspapers within days of Obama’s birth at Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu.

The Obama campaign issued a certificate of live birth in 2008, an official document from the state showing the president’s birth date, city and name, along with his parents’ names and races. The certificate doesn’t list the name of the hospital where he was born or the physician who delivered him, information collected by the state as part of its vital records.

In the 1960’s, Hawaii switched to all-microfilm copies of birth certificates, destroying the paper copies, but issuing a short version of the birth certificate, called a “live certificate.”

Abercrombie claims he was present when the child was born but acknowledges that he didn’t see his parents with their newborn son at the hospital. Requests for Obama’s birth information increased this month as the Obama family prepared to vacation in Hawaii.

The Department of Health received 27 requests for the president’s birth information this month as of last Thursday, up from 16 in November. Requests rose despite a new state law allowing officials to ignore persistent and repetitive inquiries, a law that has been used about six times by the department.

I’m perfectly happy to believe Obama was born Aug. 4, 1961; the date, and even the place, Honolulu, happen to make a delightfully dreadful time and place for a public official to be born, from an astrological standpoint. I can’t understand why Obama has taken my advice from previous blogs and produced a Kenyan birth certificate, or a Kansas birth certificate, or one from Kalamazoo. Anywhere but Honolulu and on any date (except Feb. 4-5, 1962 of course) but that.

Haven’t his astrologers told him that that birth date, in that place, makes him first cousin to the greatest monster of all time? But perhaps it’s important to the followers of the monster that that date be absolutely confirmed, without actually confirming it. The unfaithful must have faith in their Chosen One. All will be revealed in time, including the mysterious birth certificate.

Much to the dismay of The Birthers, the certificate will be confirmed as authentic. They will be discredited, the laughingstock of conspiracy theorists everywhere. We who know exactly who and what Obama is, will have the grim satisfaction of being proven, unfortunately, right.

I give the whole thing about one more year. 2012 is coming. As count down the last days of 2010, we’ll look back on these times as amusing and innocent, even as we know an iron prison is being built up around us, impenetrable, inescapable, and impervious to the light of freedom.

When the Socialists have absolutely ascertained that there’s nothing we can do about it, when we discover there’s someone even worse to fear than Obama, that’s when Obama will release his birth certificate.

Until then, wait for it. It’s not the end of the world – yet.

Published in: on December 29, 2010 at 4:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

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