The Joke’s on Obama

Obama took great umbrage at Mitt Romney’s mild humor yesterday, when Mitt told a Michigan crowd, “No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.”  The crowd cheered, the Mainstream Media gasped, and Obama was said to be furious, his campaign staff dubbing Romney, “The Birther-in-Chief.”

Romney’s spokesman quickly pointed out that that Romney has never doubted Obama’s claims to having been born in Hawaii; he was just having a little fun.  Romney (rather disingenuously) said he wasn’t trying to take any swipes at the president.  Why on earth not?

Meanwhile, Conservative pundits were gnashing their teeth in angst over how the Media would use this remark against their candidate, especially coming on the heels of the Akins problem – which is going away, although so is Akins and his chances for the Senate seat.

Conservative guys and gals – calm down and get a grip. You’ve been so well-programmed (with the exception of Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh who have been ostracized by the Media to teach the rest of us a lesson about fighting back) to let Liberal comedians and reporters make hits on you and your candidates, and allowed them to bash you into a corner, that you’ve completely lost your sense of humor.  You’re as serious as a heart attack, and the Liberals know that turns young voters off.

Admittedly, Romney’s attempt at humor was mild at best. Isn’t that what you wanted?  To not be funny?  But at least he gave it a try.  The Narcissicist-in-Chief is famous for his over-sensitivity and his thin skin. He doesn’t really know how to either tell or take a joke, either.  That’s what he has comedian hack writers for.

All is not lost for the Conservative cause of humor.  There is a website, The Barack Obama Jokes Website that has a full serving of Obama Jokes, from one-liners to story jokes.  “Don’t be afraid to laugh at politically incorrect Obama jokes!” the site tells its visitors.  “Most of the Obama jokes on the Web are as mild as the softball questions that Obama gets from the smitten reporters and reporterettes of the press.

For instance:

                                    Obama’s 2013 New Year’s Resolutions:

            10.       Party with Secret Service one last time.

              9.        Pack up White House silverware.

              8.       Cut prices for Presidential pardons.

              7.       Fire up the paper shredders.

              6.       Erase the teleprompter memory banks.

            5.       Treat Hillary Clinton to a complementary shave and a haircut.

              4.       Get medical marijuana card.

              3.       Ask Chris (“I feel a tingle up my leg”)Matthews for a date.

              2.       Appoint Joe Biden head of the Obama Museum & Library.

              1.       Confirm reservations for flight to Moscow.

Or how about this:

Joe Biden and Barack Obama are the perfect running mates.  Biden can’t answer even the simplest question and Obama has three different answers for every question. perfect

Perhaps you like your jokes subtle:

Obama has sold more guns to the drug cartels than all of the other Nobel Peace Prize winners put together.

Obama is notorious for avoiding press conferences and has never met a question he didn’t hate.  Here are some BO Q&As:

Q.  Why did Obama step on the cockroach?

A.  He hates competition.

Q.  What will Obama do if Romney challenges him to a debate?

A.  Practice in front of his mirror.

Q.  Why does Obama keep jacking up the cost of gasoline?

A. So voters can’t afford to drive to the polls in November.

Q.  What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?

A.  Undocumented Democrats.

Q & As not your type of humor (they’re not Obama’s type, either)?  How about this then?

Obama ordered Congress to set aside a billion dollars for a new research project.  He wants to know why global warming goes away in the winter.

If you didn’t like Romney’s very mild birther joke, you’ll really hate this one:

Obama is getting tired of people who say that he doesn’t have a birth certificate.  He actually has several.

Unemployed?  Don’t go “postal” like that guy yesterday at the Empire State Building.  Layed off?  Laugh it off, instead.

America has lost five million jobs under Obama. Don’t worry, though; Obama says he’ll send Joe Biden to go look for them.

Hungry for some humorous payback?

Obama’s Favorite Foods:

Favorite Breakfast – Eggs Rover Easy

Favorite Soup – Chicken Poodle

Favorite Burger – Quarter Pounder with Fleas

Favorite Sandwich – BLT: Bulldog, Lettuce and Tomato

Favorite Mustard – Greyhound Poupon

Favorite Yogurt Drink – Mango Lassie

Favorite Japanese Food – Terrieryaki

Favorite Vegetable – Collie Flower

Favorite Snack – Puppyseed Bagel

Favorite Dessert:  Dog Pound Cake

You get the idea.  We don’t want to give away all of the website’s jokes.  They welcome visitors to submit jokes.  They have about 57 pages of them, so far.  As many states as Obama thinks there are in the union.

So, loosen up, Conservatives.  Don’t take yourselves so seriously, and definitely stop taking the propaganda media so seriously. Nobody in their right mind takes Joe Biden seriously.  Give yourselves a break and a day off from angst, frustration, guilt, and self-flagellation.  Visit The Barack Obama Jokes website.

 

 

 

 

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Published in: on August 25, 2012 at 10:48 am  Comments (3)  

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