President Punchline

Late-night comedy shows are the last-stop for most presidential administrations.  Usually Republican, when you become the butt of jokes and the fodder for one-liners, your presidency is finished.

Obama, always in transformation mode, has found a short-cut to becoming the butt of jokes through his numerous gaffes.  He appears on the Tonight Show and makes them in person, forestalling even gifted comedians like Jay Leno from making fun of him.  Leno is going to have to restructure his comic strategy to take advantage of these personal comedic sacrifices Obama is making.

It’s not the first time that Obama has referred to cities like Jacksonville, Fla., Savannah, Ga., and Charleston, S.C., as Gulf Coast cities, where he is suggesting the ports need to be deepened.  Obama is certainly the man for digging holes.  Detroit and hundreds of other municipalities across the country are in a hole.

The Associated Press tried to cover up for the president-in-deep by bracketing an editorial comment to read:  ‘and in cities like Jacksonville, Fla., Savannah, Ga., and Charleston, S.C.’  Had a president from the other party made such a gaffe, you can sure the AP would not have come to their rescue.  The error would have been above the fold, in bold headlines.

Our geographically-challenged president once referred to the “57 states” of America.  There were 57 states in the Muslim caliphate.  But so far, our flag still has 50 stars on it.  Perhaps he made a mistake because he’s been thinking of annexing the northern states of Mexico:  Baja California (there are two Baja Californias, but they could be combined, in his mind), Sonora, Chihuahua, Coahuila, Nuevo Leon, Durango, and Zacatecas.  It would be easier than immigration reform.

With our economy already in a deep hole, to the tune of $16 billion – guess we can add another $1 billion to the aid money we sent to Syria – should we really be sinking more taxpayer money into a gulf of debt by deepening these ports?  The South is the only area actually manufacturing anything, thanks to its right-to-work laws.  Still, the authorities are already planning to increase the height of an already-high bridge on the Raritan River in Central Jersey to admit even bigger ships.  What could they be carrying and who could possibly be buying the merchandise?

Still haven’t come up with any punchlines about the Eastern Seaboard turning into the Gulf of Mexico.  Of course, with the tide of illegal Mexican immigrants flooding the Eastern Seaboard, Obama’s mistake was understandable.  The Atlantic Ocean is becoming rather like the Gulf of Mexico.  Why, here in New Jersey, instead of assimilating to Northeastern culture, the Mexicans are sponsoring rodeos.  (If you love Mexican food, come visit Pompton Lakes, where numerous Mexican restaurants have sprung up.)

Maybe the trouble with coming up with punch-lines about Obama’s geographic malfunctions is that it’s just not funny.  We Republicans just don’t have a sense of humor when it comes to driving away oil drilling from the Gulf of Mexico and driving its residents into our towns, affordable housing, public assistance, litter and all.  We just don’t find it funny that our limited exports don’t warrant more deepwater ports, wherever they may lie.  As for imports, not enough of us will have jobs in the future to purchase foreign wares.  We’re being economically desiccated.

Maybe if the Gulf of Mexico is renamed the Gulf of America, Obama will be able to differentiate between the Gulf, the Gulf Stream, and the Gulf of Despair.  Financial experts are beginning to worry that we’re headed towards another 1987-style stock market crash.

Jay Leno will have to make some time on his show’s schedule, pre-empt whatever guests are to appear so that Obama can announce the death of Capitalism.  The Progressives will be rolling in the aisles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Published in: on August 9, 2013 at 11:42 am  Leave a Comment  

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