Iran’s Side-Step Deal

What a relief! What a comfort it is to know that Iran will be inspecting its own nuclear proliferation sites! The IAEA can relax! Their inspectors won’t have to march through the burning desert for 40 days with their geiger counts and into the Elbutz Mountains trying to find where the Iranians are hiding their nuclear weapons!

According to a document obtained by Fox News, Iran is going to Fed-Ex photos, videos and soil samples of their Parchin nuclear weapons site.

A draft document exclusively obtained by Fox News supports reports that Iran would play a major role in inspections at its controversial Parchin nuclear site, by providing U.N. inspectors with crucial materials.

The so-called side deal, labeled “Separate Arrangement II,” says Iran will “provide to the [International Atomic Energy Agency]” photos and videos of locations and environmental samples, “taking into account military concerns.”

Details of the arrangement were first reported by the Associated Press.

The agreement also provides that the agency would ensure the “technical authenticity” of activities — in other words, ensuring nuclear work was not meant for weapons development — but the IAEA would use Iran’s “authenticated equipment.”

This would be followed by a visit from the IAEA director general.

The details of the agreement for Parchin, where Iran has long been suspected of trying to build nuclear weapons, have fueled concerns from critics.

“The agreement looks like Iran calls the shots, vetoing technical inspections when they want, where they want at the Parchin military site,” House Foreign Affairs Committee Chairman Ed Royce, R-Calif., said in a statement.

Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., told Fox News the side agreement is a “joke” and threatened to withhold millions of taxpayer dollars “until I get to look at this side deal.”

The IAEA, though, has called the original AP report — which also suggested Iran would be able to self-police inspection of the Parchin site and use its own experts — a misrepresentation.

“I am disturbed by statements suggesting that the IAEA has given responsibility for nuclear inspections to Iran. Such statements misrepresent the way in which we will undertake this important verification work,” IAEA Director General Yukiya Amano said in a statement.

A senior Obama administration official also told Fox News, “There is no ‘self-inspection’ of Iranian facilities, and the IAEA has in no way given responsibility for nuclear inspections to Iran. Not now and certainly not in the future.”

The official called the IAEA-Iran arrangements “technically sound and consistent with the agency’s long-established practice.”

State Department officials say under this agreement, Iran won’t be able to avoid layers of scrutiny.

But here’s what the document, dated July 11, 2015, says (go to link):

The notorious Max Fisher of Vox, this generation’s Noam Chomsky, declared that the Associated Press got it all wrong, that Parchin is an old site.

That’s exactly the problem:  Parchin is an old site, last used, according to Fisher and Iran, around 2002 to test nuclear explosions.  That sounds suspiciously like they have all the materials they need to make a bomb.  All they need now is the delivery system.

Still, what comfort to know that Iran is, indeed, going to “self-inspect” its Parchin site and mail the photos, videos, and soil samples to the International Atomic Energy Association (IAEA), as though they’d had a car accident and were sending photos of the crash and auto body damage to their insurance company in order to save time.

The Iranians have graciously agreed to play host to the IAEA general director – and his bodyguard – at some later date.

Isn’t that nice?  The people living on Long Island (a high number of Jewish people and extremely rich Hamptonites) will be relieved to hear that.  They live east of New York City and any radiation plume would travel eastward on the prevailing westerly winds.  Oh, right now we’re getting a lot of mucky weather traveling up from the south.  One storm squeezed itself out right over Scotch Plains, N.J., a wealthy community in central New Jersey (but don’t tell the terrorists that).

Iran’s main North American target is New York City.  However, they will probably feel obliged to bomb Los Angeles, far to the south, and San Francisco.  Unless the Big One hits, in which case, Iran can save those bombs for some other targets.  The Iranians will be disappointed if those two cities aren’t there to bomb.  Those same westerly winds would eventually carry the radiation plume over the San Fernando Valley, over the Rockies and into the Midwest, contaminating our food supplies for the next 30,000 years or something.

The San Fernando Valley is already shriveling up thanks to a long drought and the imperiled smelt.  In order to protect the smelt, the EPA has cut off the water supplies to California’s Central Valley, where all the farms are.  Since they can’t very well cut-off water to the fabulously wealthy cities of San Francisco and Los Angeles, the authorities are considering a water tunnel, which will undercut the Central Valley.

Right now, not only are the farm owners being driven out of business, but there’s no work for their illegal immigrants, either.  The illegals are living in makeshift huts, according to an article in the National Review.  The illegal have been arriving in droves, even though the drought has been going on for a number of years.  The only main hospital in the area has been flooded with the uninsured undocumenteds.

You’d think California, of all states, would have more compassion for their sanctuary citizens.  But no; the smelt come first.

Now that the Iranians can self-inspect, however, the Central Valley’s misery will soon be over.  If the Iranians don’t get California, God will.  The meek will inherit the Central Valley.

See there?  Yet another benefit of the Side Deal.  While the IAEA is busy waiting for the DHL package to arrive, Iran scientists will be busy manufacturing enough bombs to turn the entire United States into the Central Valley.

Those of us who are unemployed and have been rejected by Millennial human resource managers (charitable organizations will help veterans and welfare recipients find work; wouldn’t it be nice if someone would give those of us in our mid-50s a break and vouch for us?) because we don’t use Instagram, Hangouts, or Snapchat and use “ancient” e-mail services like or yahoomail, can take comfort in The Iranian Bomb that’s headed for New York City.

No one will, though.  The coming tyranny needs useful idiots, not experienced workers who don’t need to be trained on programs like InDesign because we already know the “ancient” MS-DOS language upon which InDesign is based.  That’s what useful idiots do – they reinvent the wheel.  We also remember what telephone rings originally sounded like, how to replace typewriter ribbons, and how to read maps (but I love my Garmin all the same).  We also remember analog watches, roll-down windows, and record-players.

We used to make fun of our elders, too.  But then again, back during those 13 days in October, most of our equipment was manual or we had recourse to manual equipment, even manual washing machines and washboards.

Just wait, Millennials.  Once the Iranians set off their EMP devices, if the device doesn’t fry your brains, it will certainly fry all your electronics and you’ll know why these things are important.

Getting into the city would be impossible, of course, because emergency management would reverse the inbound lanes on all the Hudson River bridges and tunnels.  However, there’s a very nice spot in Fort Lee Historic Park, overlooking the George Washington Bridge.  We rejects would have a front-row seat to the show, assuming the Iranians provide enough time.  Fort Lee is about a 30-minute ride from here.

Think the Iranian deal is just fine, Millennials?  You should; you helped vote in the guy responsible for it.

So you can watch your freedom and your civilization disappear in a flash, just like an image on Snapchat.

Published in: on August 21, 2015 at 12:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

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