The Evil Clown Conspiracy

Ever since author Stephen King’s 1987 novel “It” came out, a story set in 1960 which seven outcast kids known as “The Loser Club” fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown, our culture has been dragged into a war on clowns.

 

Commercials have taken advantage of the novel’s popularity, featuring creepy clowns as villains in their ads. Copycat movies and television shows have featured evil clowns and even a show as innocuous as “  “  took on the clowns, with one of the show’s producers and stars buying an old faded circus billboard because its clown looked “creepy.”

 

To call this a “Anti-Clown” Conspiracy might seem a risible stretch. A war on clowns?  Seriously.

 

Well, yes. Seriously.  Because the Left is essentially anti-happiness.  They managed to put the damper on happy musicals back in the Sixties, the last truly happy musical being “The Sound of Music.”  One notable critic described as “The Sound of Mucus” because they thought it was too saccharine.  Too much happiness at a time when the Marxist-oriented Left was attempting to spread gloom and despair in order to foment their uprising.

 

They would view the clown as a nemesis to their ends. The clown represents the ultimate in childhood joy, merriment, laughter and just plain silliness, an escape from the dreary, rule-ridden adult world.

 

Now that we’re back to the Sixties right here in good old 2016, the Creepy Clowns are on the march. The Left has managed to ruin, or rather, outlaw Christmas cheer, Christmas music, and even Christmas mangers.  Their new war is on Halloween.  As a Christian I have a problem with celebrating the anniversary and death of the wicked after Noah’s Flood, but I don’t begrudge little ones the joy of dressing up.  Only their costumes are now very limited.

 

Children cannot dress up as princesses, maids, or Little Red Riding Hood (sexist), 19th Century Mexican bandits (racist), American Indians (racist), superheroes (violent), cops (violent), or soldiers (ditto).  All that seems to be left are clowns, and now clowns are off the list.

 

Professional clowns aren’t taking this battle lying down. They’ve been organizing Clown Marches.  I want to find out where they’re going to be, because I want to join them.  They say the real clowns are even fighting back.  Good for them.  Give ‘em a bicycle horn in the ear, I say.  They won’t be able to hear for a week.

 

I’ve been concerned about this attack on clowns from its very inception. My favorite doll was a clown.  I gave him the generic name of Bozo.  But he was a clown with blue hair, a red nose, a blue plaid costume, and a sweet smile.  He was my best friend when I was five.  I took him everywhere and whispered all my secrets to him.

 

I even brought him with me when my mother and grandmother took me to see “Hello, Dolly!” We had box seats, but unable to see over the top of the box, I whispered to my friend that I liked the music but couldn’t see anything and really wanted to go home.

 

When I was older, my mother decided my best friend’s plastic face had cracked too much and she simply threw him away. I was quite upset.  You don’t just throw away your best friend simply because he needs a facelift.  I still have his best buddy, Yogi, though.  Sometimes, when I’m in the closet during season changes, I’ll talk to him.  We both agree that Mom shouldn’t have thrown our friend Bozo out and that we still miss him.

 

As for the clowns who are trying to kill the laughter, I say that you will not succeed. I’ve made it my own mission in to make people laugh – that was my promise to the school bully.  I’m not a professional clown because I can’t do the acrobatics.

 

But I hope, in addition to the professional clowns, that the true comedians will denounce the creepy clowns.

 

I like to think that the late Robin Williams is up in Heaven somewhere, frowning, and saying, “Guys. What are you doing? Killing clowns.  Making people sad, instead of happy? Seriously?!”

 

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Published in: on October 7, 2016 at 6:06 pm  Leave a Comment  

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