Pinko Barbie?

The new Barbie Doll movie has everyone wondering what’s going on inside Barbie’s rubber head.

First, just for full disclosure, I have not seen the new Barbie movie. I was hoping to get input from a genuine little girl who plays with Barbie dolls. But her Conservative parents refused to take her to see it.

Word is that Barbie has gone Woke. Allegedly, the film opens with the producers interviewing little girls who tell them they don’t ever want to have children, that they only care about their careers. Once in Barbie World, they discover that Activist Barbie is working on ridding Barbie world of all men.

No word on what happens to Ken. But he’s definitely an effeminate Ken, allowing Barbie to dress him in decidedly unmasculine colors. Years ago, Barbie declared that they’re just friends.

Barbie was born in 1959. Next year, she’ll be eligible for Medicare but not Social Security. She has to wait until she’s 66 and 8 months to collect Social Security. But while women born in 1959 have grown old, Barbie is still perpetually young.

In 1959, she was born into the world an emancipated 19 year-old. She could work and drive, but she couldn’t vote or do a number of other things that required parental permission. Her occupation was fashion model. Her job in life was to let little girls dress her up in all sorts of beautiful clothes.

Wikipedia tells us:

Ruth Handler watched her daughter Barbara play with paper dolls, and noticed that she often enjoyed giving them adult roles. At the time, most children’s toy dolls were representations of infants. Realizing that there could be a gap in the market, Handler suggested the idea of an adult-bodied doll to her husband Eliot, a co-founder of the Mattel toy company. He was unenthusiastic about the idea, as were Mattel’s directors.

During a trip to Europe in 1956 with her children Barbara and Kenneth (oh dear….), Handler came across a German toy doll called Bild Lili The adult-figured doll was exactly what Handler had in mind, so she purchased three of them. She gave one to her daughter and took the others back to Mattel. The Lilli doll was based on a popular character appearing in a satirical by Reinhard Beuthin for the newspaper Bild. The Lilli doll was first sold in Germany in 1955, and although it was initially sold to adults, it became popular with children who enjoyed dressing her up in outfits that were available separately.

Upon her return to the United States, Handler redesigned the doll (with help from local inventor-designer, Jack Ryan and the doll was given a new name Barbie, after Handler’s daughter, Barbara. The doll made its debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York City on March 9, 1959. This date is also used as Barbie’s official birthday.

Mattel decidedly marketed towards the affluent and flourishing middle class suburban market. The doll came with a bathing suit, with a choice of blonde or brunette hair. Mattel made its fortune marketing Barbie’s vast wardrobe. She soon acquired a pal, Midge (Midge was her friend, not her sister), a little sister, Skipper, and a boyfriend, Ken. Later in the Sixties, Mattel came out with Barbie’s British cousin, Stacie.

Parents couldn’t help but notice Barbie’s unusual proportions. In real life, Barbie would be 5’9”, with a 36-18-33. The focus was on her seemingly over-sized mammary glands. But in actuality, a size 36 bust isn’t all that unusual, although she’s probably at least a C cup.

It’s her incredibly tiny waist that actually makes her look out of proportion. The creators claimed she needed that Scarlett O’Hara waistline in order for her figure to accommodate all the snaps and gewgaws of her clothes. [We have it on good authority that it was the mold makers who kept increasing Barbie’s size, as a joke. Mattel went along with it until ? Feminist Era when Barbie’s figure was readjusted and her eyes turned forward rather than glancing demurely sideways, which is what a model would do, looking down at the cameras from the runway.]

We original Barbie doll owners wonder why Barbie needed another career. Wasn’t it her job to let us dress her up? What did she need a different career for? There was a time when Barbie and Ken went to the altar, but no further. Mattel created family Barbies (a pregnant Midge) but they didn’t sell.

Feminists and their daughters took up the mantra of Career Barbie. But in the end, it’s still about the clothes. Mattel soon changed their marketing strategy. Now, when you wanted to buy Barbie a new dress, you had to buy the doll to go with it. How many Barbies does a girl need, my mother wanted to know. What affluent little girls used to do was trade Barbie clothes the way their brothers traded baseball cards.

We were a poor family, so my doll (Stacie; I thought she was prettier than her cousin) never went beyond the outfit she came in.) never got a wardrobe. Later in life, I began making my own doll clothes, for 14-inch dolls. However, it was time-consuming hobby and I had to put them aside and be satisfied dressing myself up for work (which was about the only satisfaction I got from my dreary office jobs; the only real reason for getting up in the morning. Now I can’t even do that.

Today’s Career wardrobe consists of expensive, pre-torn jeans and a loose, over-sized blouses. Most women in the modern world wear exercise stretch clothes to work. I’ve had many a feedback from potential employers who told me I didn’t fit in because I dressed too nicely. I don’t fit in because all these fat broads can’t fit into business clothes anymore. Leggs just doesn’t make a Q size pantyhose that will stretch to fit modern cabooses. I’m the same dress size, the same weight I was at 30. I’ve shrunk quite a bit, but I still fit the clothes I wore when I was younger.

It just isn’t fair. But that’s the way our female-dominated culture is today. Gay or gender fluid men could wear a skirt and pumps to work. But not me. I don’t care whether these broads eat themselves into a spot on “My 600-Pound Life.” What I resent is not being permitted to dress the way I see fit for a business office situation.

Ironically, the career I was best “suited” for was as an internal public affairs position as reporter and photographer. In order to do those shoots, I did have to throw off my pretty clothes and don slacks and rubber-soled shoes. Sneakers and jeans were still out at my company. At evening events, I still had to dress nicely. However, I dressed in black and white, like the other servants at the venue. This was quite convenient since I already had the clothes which I wore for community band concerts.

Dress up for jobs I hate, which I’m in truth I’m no longer allowed to dress up for anyway. Or dress down for jobs I love. What a quandary. If I must dress down, I’d rather dress down for something I love doing.

As for Barbie, except for its introduction, I doubt that I would take a granddaughter to see one. I’d sooner buy the doll for her and create fashions for it myself.

Barbie is and should be perpetually 19. Mattel made a mistake in forcing her to grow up and take on “adult” roles. I gave that little I mentioned in the beginning a Firefighter Barbie. The doll soon landed on the rubbish heap of this girl’s toys. She wanted a fashion doll, not an action figure. Oh, she loves her Barbie camper and Barbie castle. A doll has to have somewhere to live and something to drive, after all. As for the rest, Mattel should have created a Barbie Shopping Mall.

Because that’s what little girls (and their mothers) love to do best: shop.